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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 7:40 pm 
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The officially unofficial 3DO Zone Forum FAQ.
Background and aimed at entirely new users to the forum.

If you have heard the phrase “there are no stupid questions” it wasn’t likely to have been from someone on this forum. Stupid questions get you banned. To avoid unnecessary banning, please read this FAQ carefully or you will be banned.

1. Who is admin?
a. Ban Request. That’s not their name, that’s what you get for asking stupid questions like that.

2. 3DOKid, he annoys me, who is he?
a. Who cares, just ignore him, when he’s not wrong, he’s very wrong.

3. The 3DOKid was rude to me, why?
a. You made a request for ROMS.
b. You used ‘Text’ speak.
c. You made reference to some modern thing that he finds irksome.
i. Facebook.
ii. Twitter
iii. DLC
iv. Twinkle.
v. Any modern musical band.
vi. Nintendo/Sega.
vii. Mario/Sonic
viii. Kinect/Move/Wiimote
ix. 3D television.
x. Xfactor
xi. Cheryl Cole.
d. He woke up looking for someone to hate and saw your post first.
e. He has nagging doubt you are an idiot.
f. The stars were not in alignment.
g. Misc.

4. Everyone was rude to me.
a. You really are an idiot and we have all spotted it. Go to banned. Try doing some inner reflection, there maybe a theme to it throughout your life.

5. Who really makes the decisions on the board? I’m scared it really might be 3DOkid.
a. Fear not, big decisions are usually made by 3DO Experience and are passed by a collection of regulars. (Listed next)

6. Who is Lemmi?
a. Lemmi is God.

7. Who is BryWi
a. Find out here: http://bryzian.no-ip.org:368/index.html

8. Who is Trev?
a. Trev is banned.

9. Who is Silentman?
a. He is a man of silence.

10. Who is NikeX?
a. If you don’t know, you don’t need to know. However, we all know. And maybe you should too but who knows? We don’t.

11. Who is Vance?
a. He is the real Vance and the King of Florida.

12. Who is Bitrate?
a. Bitrate is RJ Mical / Dave Needle. (He’s just in denial.)

13. Who is AWBacon?
a. He is too sensible to be nearly banned. But still perilously close.

14. Who is MattyG?
a. He is a Bruce. And retail King of the great colony.

15. Who is 3DO Experience?
a. You are banned and possible sexist. You pig.

16. Is there anyone famous on the board?
a. Who knows? Possibly.

17. I want to learn more about 3DO, is this a good place to start?
a. Definitely not. You will get hounded off the board the first stupid question you ask.

18. Does 3DOKid really hate the Atari Jaguar?
a. He thinks the console is fine with some great games, it’s the Jaguar Fanboys he cannot abide.

19. Who was Lightning?
a. Lightning was Trip Hawkins’ son and we miss him dearly.

20. Who was Preecha?
a. Let the great man speak for himself, as he used to converse with 3DOKid on the once mighty 3DOKid blog:
[The words of Preecha from Thailand]
“...as i am the angel of hell that will eat you alive and take your days away and go to hell am funny rught kills my pussy
thai but you stupit white ass foor ss.preecha hope your angel be kill and cook ans eat the eye and the foot and the liver
and the smaill shit and goodly the best is the haed let it may be your frinds that will die away blow ther homes up and spary antrax up in the air die die die ha ha ha make sure to come see me on ebay i sell 3do imports for a 1.00 lees see ohh
i got a 3do game dbz and ultraman and gundam come and vsit me noew i love you and i went to kiss you and lik you and pick you and eat you yes yes i am funny right whrite UK NIGGRO...”
So the answer to the question is: Preecha was a literary genius.

21. I want to talk about ROMS.
a. You are hated. And an Idiot. And you are hated.

22. I have a sensible question but don’t seem to get an answer.
a. Tragically, we aren’t as clever as we think or indeed profess to be.

23. I know you all have these ROMS, so if I post a few message before coming right out with it, are you stupid enough to fall for that and will i get my ROMS?
a. Drop dead.

24. I hate the Playstation can I get team hugs here?
a. There are two camps in the forum, and the Admin Team is divided (but still very much in love) however, the pro-Playstation syndicate are better versed in really foul language, and much more trigger happy with the ban button, which is usually operated with silencer in such circumstances. If you follow... (I like to win my arguments on this topic!)

25. I have a gushing love for Sega/Nintendo/Microsoft
a. Tread real careful.

26. I have a gushing love for Sony Playstation.
a. Welcome to our forum. You are in a minority. Goodluck. Even the pro-Sony syndicate will stick by the anti-sony regulars to hound out a clueless NOOB.

27. I feel I have nothing to contribute, so remain mostly silent.
a. Don’t do this, we need you. If you think this, there is every chance you are sane, normal person. We need you to help us. Feel free to post and save us from the hoards of mindless lunatics that infest the Internet.

28. I do not speak English, I’m afraid I will mocked.
a. Firstly, tell us where you are from, most people tend to assume people speak English first, which might be wrong, but that’s the way it is, and generally we really welcome people from other countries, so we can hear about 3DO in your native land of cause!

b. Secondly, the first person to mock none-English speakers for not speaking perfect English is on the highway to downtown Bansville with an express first class ticket.


29. I’m thinking of joining to see if i can get some free stuff from 3DO collectors.
a. Banning will be just the beginning. I take an extraordinarily dim view of people who join forums purely to beg for ROMS, controllers, consoles, anything. We have your IP address and you have been warned.

30. A lot of threads seem to be derailed, I find this annoying. Can it be stopped?
a. Since the Admin Team is responsible for at least 90% of derailing it’s hard to legislate on such things. Suffice to say, do try and keep up.

31. What percentage of ban requests are followed through?
a. 1%

32. Everyone was talking about banning Trev and when I joined in, everyone turned on me – why?
a. We love Trev. You perhaps don’t. This worries us. Tread carefully.

33. This forum seems to be run by some kind of Nostalgic-authoritarian-3DO-Sony-Loving-Nazi and the first time i post I’ll get banned in less time than it took to register.
a. Yep.

34. Some members appear to be perverts.
a. Correct.

35. What’s the difference between ROMs and Ripping OSTs from the 3DO Games?
a. Ones sanctioned and appreciated, the other get’s you banned.

Apendix A.

1. Who is mobius?
Apparently, the second none Admin Team member, with a 500+ post count. Much loved but treading carefully due to his irksome ability to make 50% of the Admin Team feel guilty.

2. I feel like gushing in general - can I?
Depends, with or without pictures?

3. I like Cyberdillo.
You are Trev. Alone. And 1 step closer to a banning.

4. I want to talk about Apple computers and stuff, can I?
In the general forum by all means. Just be aware it is over priced tat, that is essentially a unreliably built purse/handbag with a screen.

5. Who are the legends of the forum?
Gir Draxa, more myth than legend.
Unholytanctred. More political loon than legend. Much loved, much missed.

6. I'm a twenty-three year old female exhibitionist with D-cups and a twinkle in my eye and I hate sony and only play NES games. I look like cheryl cole and justlove Myst on my iPhone?
Welcome to the forum. Can we offer you some ROMS?

7. I'm thinking of starting an ernest and well considered, semi academic argument against Sony in a feeble attempt to hide my inner raging fanboy - will I get banned?

Quicker than the angry fanboys. We appreciate passion here, not pseudo intellectual claptrap.

8. Why does 3DOkid endlessly bang on about Novastorm and Starblade?
Because he is old and lazy.

9. I'm pro sony, but got a negative feeling when I talked about NFS, spacehulk and novastorm?
You aren't following the signs well are you?

10. This forum is hypocritical, even this FAQ is.
Indeed. What's your point?

11. Are there any women on this overtly sexist, hypocritical forum?
Indeed. And she's sorry she comes across that way.

12. I have a bunch of 3do stuff I want to sell - can you tell me what it is worth?
Very, very little. Especially, if it's something we want badly.

13. This forum seems nasty, cold and hatefilled, with a lingering deep burning rage omniously looming over it?
You've clearly never been to the atariage jag forums, but yes, we aim to please.

14. Do group members ever meet?
Who is asking?


14. How do I get in on the in jokes.
You could ask Trev, but he's banned.

15. Some of the FAQ I find offensive, and seems aimed directly at me.
Well done. Well, sod-off now and save me the effort of banning you later.

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Last edited by 3DOKid on Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:58 am, edited 5 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 2:31 am 
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Lol, I'm nearly speechless. I actually chuckled out loud reading this post! :P

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:01 am 
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I never make "the list"

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:15 am 
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Mobius wrote:
I never make "the list"


Yeah, what the heck?!? You were the 2nd person to join this forum (outside of the mods) and w/500+ posts you are in the top 10 for total posts.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:30 am 
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Because he is sane.






OOOO I have a gushing love for Nintendo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:31 am 
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3DO Experience wrote:
OOOO I have a gushing love for Nintendo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Tread real careful. :wink:

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:33 am 
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Didn't one of us ban you?

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:40 am 
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3DO Experience wrote:
Didn't one of us ban you?


Who was it, Devin? I'll get him! :twisted:

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:15 am 
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lol.. wow. just... wow.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:22 am 
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Mobius wrote:
I never make "the list"


See point #2. Sorry.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:24 am 
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Trev wrote:
Mobius wrote:
I never make "the list"


Yeah, what the heck?!? You were the 2nd person to join this forum (outside of the mods) and w/500+ posts you are in the top 10 for total posts.


Ban request. Questioning a moderation team member and pointing out their obvious mistakes. It's in the small print. Sorry.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:26 am 
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3DO Experience wrote:
Because he is sane.






OOOO I have a gushing love for Nintendo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Appendix A, rule 2: no gushing, of any kind.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:44 am 
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I am the really difficult audience that says this is genuinely hilarious!

Also, I'm honestly not sure how I've avoided a banning at times.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:49 am 
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Vance wrote:
I am the really difficult audience that says this is genuinely hilarious!

Also, I'm honestly not sure how I've avoided a banning at times.


You are in the pro-playstation syndicate and therefore immuned by 3DOkid decree. Don't push it though... ;)

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:20 am 
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Push what? This pile of Shenmue games off a cliff?

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:31 am 
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Vance wrote:
Push what? This pile of Shenmue games off a cliff?


Hahaha... We need more intricate emoticons specifically for posts like this.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:32 am 
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Vance wrote:
Push what? This pile of Shenmue games off a cliff?


?

3DO Experience, could you do the honours. I've been irked.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:37 am 
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Relax, I'm joking. Thanks to the lax standards of the California education system, people actually BUY Shenmue.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:41 am 
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Would you like to play a game of lucky hit? How about a game of lucky hit? Do you know where I can find some sailors? How about a game of lucky hit? Come to my place for dinner, we'll be eating the last of my personality.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:51 am 
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Vance wrote:
Would you like to play a game of lucky hit? How about a game of lucky hit? Do you know where I can find some sailors? How about a game of lucky hit? Come to my place for dinner, we'll be eating the last of my personality.


You know, I don't think you remember that day. That day the snow turned to rain. It was a special day. All the cool gamers love shenmue, and it's possibly the only truly over-loved, over-sold, over-rated game that I and the irritating numb nutted masses love. All the mini games were crap mind you, but the fork lift section was ace.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 11:06 am 
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3DOKid wrote:
All the mini games were crap mind you, but the fork lift section was ace.


Whatever, man. Super Hang-On was awesome.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 11:15 am 
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Austin wrote:
3DOKid wrote:
All the mini games were crap mind you, but the fork lift section was ace.


Whatever, man. Super Hang-On was awesome.


There's another. Where's 3DO Experience this thread is a banning gold mine?

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 11:17 am 
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The forklift races and Sonic Adventure had something very assy in common; hit an edge at a slight angle and you stop, all inertia magically gone. And in Shenmue, that meant loose chains that never even budged.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 11:33 am 
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Oh yes, I'll see your Hang-On and raise you a Space Harrier

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 12:50 pm 
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Vance wrote:
Oh yes, I'll see your Hang-On and raise you a Space Harrier


Wasn't that in Shenmue II? :roll:

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 3:32 pm 
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I played two minutes of shenmue II, but space harrier was in the original I'm sure

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:21 pm 
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Shenmue 2 touched me inappropriately.

I've never been so emotionally invested in a game... I nearly cried knowing that I'd never see that story finished. :cry:

Does that get me banned?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 4:48 pm 
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3DOKid wrote:
I played two minutes of shenmue II, but space harrier was in the original I'm sure


I honestly can't remember if it was in the original, it's been so long since I've played it.

Karny wrote:
Shenmue 2 touched me inappropriately.

I've never been so emotionally invested in a game... I nearly cried knowing that I'd never see that story finished. :cry:

Does that get me banned?


No, but Vance may find out where you live and do indescribable things to you. :shock:

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:19 pm 
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No, it's okay. I don't mock people who probably have some chemical imbalance.

The... story? It was pretty straightforward revenge tripe with a boring lead and mystical macguffins. The first game involved seeing your father die and then getting on a boat. Nothing actually happened.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 12:39 am 
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Shenmue II was the first (and come to think of it, thus far the only) import game I ever bought for my DC. Even w/subtitles it was totally worth it! :D

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