Review - Crime Patrol

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Review - Crime Patrol

Post by CrimsonGlory » Sun Aug 05, 2007 11:06 pm

Ok, heres my first review, im a review virgin here, so be gentle with me, im still tight.

Anyways, as people may or may not know, I hail from Nottingham in England, sadly the days of Robin Hood robbing from the rich to give to the poor have been replaced lately by people robbing from the rich and the poor to, well... give to themselves.

Hence, over the last few years outsiders have delicatly coined the town "Shottingham" Yes, Brilliant.

Sometimes, when I see a baseball bat attack outside my home (as I did last night, no, really, but im sure they deserved it probably) I wonder how great it would be to join up with the law and take to streets to clear the scum away and restore order.

Do you know why thats not a good idea? Its because, in my mind, being a police officer is just like Crime Patrol on the 3do, a world where rapid fire at anyone who resembles "suspicion" is all good and being shot in the face merely results in a loss of 1 life, but you have many continues, just remember who shot you last, and put him down first.
I am a fan of all ALG games, not so much for their artistry, I just like crappy laserdisc games, Crime patrol allows you to walk the vaguely mean streets and dispense Charles Bronson style justice without guilt or pity.

You know the ALG drill, shoot bad guys, dont shoot good guys, reload every few shots, enjoy the crappy acting, sleazy music and hideously offensive stereotypes (which here includes a white man blacked up and putting on jamaican accent, he actually says "Argh, mon!" when you shoot him.) Classy.

The game features 4 stages of 3 missions, plus a target range and a "special" final mission. You progress from trigger happy beat cop through the worst undercover agency ever, to a crappy SWAT team headed up by Phoebe from Friends (not really, it just looks like her) and finally to DELTA FORCE!!!1111one (sadly, no Chuck Norris)
As usual, with a pad the game is pretty hard pretty quickly, heres hoping youve got a game gun (real guns just cause damage to you TV so only use OFFICIAL ALG light guns)

The video is ok, reaction time to your shots fast and sound and music clear so you can really enjoy that sleazy sax and slap bass. Its short, even for an ALG game but strangely satisfying like other ALG games. As everyone says "If you like the others, youll enjoy this" I do and I did. My girlfriend laughed hard at the strip club's cheesyness, but her boyfriend plays 3do, so the jokes on her.

Have a razz on Crime patrol, even if it doesnt help your local areas rate of murder and robberies, at least you get to shoot some people in the face.
In the end, Isnt that what we all want?
"Didn' mean ta burst ya bubble"

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Post by 3DOKid » Thu Sep 06, 2007 12:27 pm

Nice work! All of which means either you are using a light gun OR the mouse... which is it?

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